These are the Words I Would Say . . . .

I can’t explain it but I am a fan of the TV series, NCIS. I prefer to skip the first ten minutes because it’s generally too gory for my taste, but I find the rest of the show entertaining as the team solves mysteries and the characters interact with each other.  

A few nights ago, when sleep eluded me, I watched a dvr’d episode. I do that sometimes for “white noise” in hope I will fall asleep and miss it; but that night, I found myself stepping into the storyline. 

Well, I should qualify that—I stepped into the premise of the storyline. Agent Gibbs was sitting in a diner and the audience saw the flash of a figure coming toward him with a gun. The scene blurred dreamlike, and he was still in the diner but obviously not as it was. He spoke to the waitress whose back was turned, and he (and we) learned it was his mother as a young woman. 

The diner was now full of people from his past, many of whom had died. The rest of the story showed each talking to Gibbs about past decisions he had made in his life. It had hints of the Christmas classic “Wonderful Life” as there were considerations of the effects from his decisions. 

That’s where I joined the story. I began to look back at my own life, and in this process, I concluded I would have been kinder to others and less focused on me. These are, if given such a chance, some of the things I would say: 

♥ To my darling child who died eight days after his birth:  I wish you could have stayed to be part of our family’s life. I’m sure you would have been a delight to your father and me and great brother, friend, and godly man. We think of you often and promise your nieces and nephews that they will love getting to know you in eternity. 

♥ To my mother:  I’m so sorry I didn’t understand your life and personal trials and that I didn’t help you more. I have come to increasingly appreciate your sacrifices, your difficulties, and your love for your Lord and your family. You gave me big shoes to fill. 

♥ To my childhood neighbor: Thank you for being such a wonderful father figure in my life. I think of you every time I see a box of chocolate covered cherries and occasionally at Christmas buy myself some in your memory (well, it’s not like that’s completely unselfish). 

♥ To my childhood Sunday School teacher: I’m sure you had no idea how influential you were and still are in my life. As I sat on those little red chairs, you taught me not only stories of God’s word, but caused me to believe that since you cared so much about me, maybe God did too. 

♥ To my favorite high school teacher: You taught me that that being a teacher was not something done just in front of a classroom. Rather, you developed opportunities and pushed us to learn, to excel, and to value one another. You insisted upon excellence and the awareness of our individual contribution and importance. I have sought to replicate your style. 

♥ To my friends who left this life too early:  I miss you. You each had a unique gift and shared it freely. I was so blessed to have walked beside you for a time. I hope to do that again on the other side. 

Of course, Gibbs had all this drama completed in an hour. For me, it will take longer for I realize that having received so much from those I mentioned, I must now turn and give it all away. 

I want to be a darling child of the Heavenly Father, and I now assume the role of a loving mother, a caring neighbor, a passionate Sunday School teacher, an energetic teacher of those who will listen, and a giving friend to those who now walk beside me. 

I’m glad for the chance to say these things—well worth a little less sleep. 

♫ “Be strong in the Lord and,
Never give up hope,
You're going to do great things,
I already know,
God's got His hand on you so,
Don't live life in fear,
Forgive and forget,
But don't forget why you're here,
Take your time and pray,
These are the words I would say.” ♫

The Sidewalk Prophets