Not "Just a Little Bit"

Earlier today, I wrote a short article on respect as it pertains to success; and, as I considered that word, several thoughts surfaced. First, it occurred to me that respect goes far beyond a personality trait and is both a learned response and a daily choice for each of us. I wondered why there is such a high value on exhibiting respectful behavior and concluded that respect is the key for life success.

Success has many different facets. What do you consider a successful life? Well, Luke 2:52 describes the perfect one, “Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.” A successful life would include a right relationship with God, good family relationships, good social relationships, a job or career to meet financial responsibilities, and self respect. Respect may be the central ingredient in every one of those facets of success.

I have heard it taught that the word “worship” can be seen as expressing “worth-ship” or acknowledging God’s worth. To have a relationship with God requires recognizing His “worth-ship” and showing respect for that great worth. Respect in the dictionary includes in its definition to obey, follow, heed, and pay attention. Shouldn’t that make us stop and consider how much respect we are indeed showing toward God and His Word?

Exhibiting respectful behavior is key to good family relationships. That can be a most difficult concept for kids to grasp. Often they are childish enough to be completely self-absorbed. I remember at times thinking my teens acted much like 2-year-olds (a time referred to as “the terrible twos”). Adults may display similar issues; however, disrespectful behavior, at any age, is disastrous to smooth family relationships.

Now I must touch on the fact that in human relationships, both respect and disrespect flow both ways. I remember, as a mom of four youngsters, there were a few times when my irritation and frustration level reached a point where I totally lost it. I occasionally forgot that I was the adult and the role model for acceptable behavior. I found the role model stuff to be a fine line to walk, where I established and enforced the house rules, but not in anger or fits of rage. I quickly learned that my anger led to a marked escalation of the problem and never to the behavior I wanted—certainly not to family tranquility.

Respect is also essential in having good social relationships. Again, respect is a two-way street. I remember telling my young daughter when she wanted so much to be friends with a girl who treated her badly, that she did not have a friend/friend relationship but rather that of a master/slave. The master had no respect for the slave, and I saw my daughter, in turn, lose respect for herself. Disrespectful behavior destroys relationships and creates chasms that may never be undone.

In the program I work with, we encourage teens to do well in school and think college so that they can ultimately have jobs to provide a good life for them. As a part of this, we seek to teach that success in the work force will demand respectful attitudes and behavior—to superiors as well as co-workers. A “me first, me only” mentality is guaranteed to sabotage an otherwise effectual work environment, and employers will definitely seek to eliminate such an nuisance. Success in employment absolutely requires respectful behavior.

Finally, it is impossible for a person to be respected by others if their behavior expresses disrespect. “As a man sows, so shall he reap.” The result of living a life without the respect of those around is the ultimate in un-success. I think it falls into a failure to "Love your neighbor as yourself." Those two seem intertwined; if you won’t love others, you can’t love yourself. Paul said in I Thessalonians 4:12 that it was desirable that, “your daily life may win the respect of outsiders. . .”

I remember some years ago Aretha Franklin singing:

♫“R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB
A little respect—just a little bit
Whoa, babe—just a little bit
A little respect—just a little bit
I get tired—just a little bit
Keep on tryin'—just a little bit
And I ain't lyin'—just a little bit
(re, re, re, re) 'spect
When you come home (re, re, re, re)
Or you might walk in—just a little bit
And find out I'm gone—just a little bit.
I got to have (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit).”