Give or Take

I have observed that most people fit into one of two categories: givers or takers. Many of us are somewhere in between those polar opposites, but some are out there at the extremes. It would be so interesting if we created a survey and asked everyone where they were on the continuum. Where are you?
Taker……………………|……………………Giver

My guess is that most of us would claim to be on the giver end because we were taught that selfishness is not polite. However, knowing and being are not always the same. As children, it is a difficult concept to grasp that “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” We adults must assume some of the blame for that, as what do we say repeatedly to kids during the month of December? “What do you want for Christmas?”

Do we ask them, “What are you giving your father or mother or your brother or sister? Do we ask them what they are doing for someone else? Do we stress that it’s an admirable trait to help, to encourage, to give? Oh, I know that as parents we do that, but it’s often so much easier to surrender and just give in to their wants.

I knew a certain young man who as a boy had an attitude that still stands out in my mind. During games, he would say, “Oh, you did a good job!” If another kid missed, this boy would say, “You almost had it. I think you’ll make it next time.” But, I also remember another young man, from a very good family, who continually demanded attention. He was difficult to deal with, was a bully, and took pencils, crayons, and toys from everyone around him.

These boys are grown now (college I think), but do they still carry those traits? The images of them remain in my mind, and I’ve always wondered what it was that made the difference. I do know one was a giver, and one was a taker.

As a parent/grandparent, I question what I can do to encourage the former. How can I model being a giving person to my children and grandchildren without causing them to become continual takers? Their learning the life lesson of giving is important to me for a couple of reasons. 1) We are commanded to follow in the ways of Jesus, and he was the ultimate giver as he gave his life; and 2) Takers never have enough to be happy; they only want one thing—MORE. The road to happiness and success is found on the path of the giver.

“For God so loved the world he gave. . .”